by Reese Smith
Reese Smith is a nursing major from Quincy, MA. She says that she has come to realize how as a society we have very little comfort in our everyday lives and “often live a robotic lifestyle day in and day out, without taking much time to appreciate what is around us and incorporating comforts into our daily routines.” When writing this essay, Reese felt that she was able to take her own research and apply it to her daily life by taking time to infiltrate comforts (with an “s”) into her own routines. Her research is special to her since it stems from her interest in biophilic design and explores the extreme incorporation of comfort into a home or workspace. Comfort in the workplace is important to Reese as a nursing major who knows she will be “dealing with patients and families in what could be the most uncomfortable times of their lives.” She is passionate about taking care of people and hopes that she can “learn of people’s differences, what makes them comfortable, and how to provide care for them.”
Ugh!! You just failed your exam. Crashed your car. Checked your bank account to be greeted by a very low number. Found out your family is visiting this summer for a month and staying in your house, demoting you to the family living room couch.
All of these are very real and human experiences that have the person experiencing intense emotions that cause them to take a step back and say, “What the hell do I do now?” Your mind begins to scramble. How am I going to respond at this moment? How am I going to handle this information when I already have so many things on my plate? What did I do to deserve this?
Sheer panic.
Now, you can totally take out this emotion on someone or something else. Calling your little brother telling him that he needs to forfeit his room for grandma instead of yours. Your decision, no judgment here. But the most, for lack of a better term, mature way to go about this situation is to evaluate how you feel and go about trying to calm yourself down. For some people this seems easy, wipe the sweat off your temple and resort to what works to calm you down. For others, it may have you encountering the question from before, “What the hell do I do now?”
Why as a society do we separate ourselves from our comforts in our everyday lives? It sometimes gets to a point that people are so detached from what brings them comfort that they do not even know what to do in times of strong emotion. Even for the people that know what to resort to when they are met with these difficult times, why do they keep these tools separated from everyday practice? Why do we only refer to these practices in times of severe stress and emotion?
If you read those last few statements and are scratching your head while saying, “what is she getting at?” Let me explain it to you. The idea that led me to ask myself the questions previously mentioned was “biophilic design.” You might be saying, “what did she just say?” Space Refinery’s blog post, “Everything You Need to Know About Biophilic Design,” gives a rundown of what biophilic design is and how it is being used today. Biophilic design is basically including plants and greenery around your living and workspaces to create the illusion that you are outside, when truly you are not, in order to promote a more comforting environment. This is a new design that is being pushed in a lot of new workspaces due to the benefits of “reduced stress levels, increased productivity, a reduction in sick days and absenteeism, higher attractivity for job candidates, reduced pollution and cleaner air, lower noise levels, creativity boost” (“Everything You Need”). This does not just mean including one potted plant in the common area, but really incorporating plants all over homes and workspaces. For some people they may not find greenery to be comforting, but the way in which biophilic design elevates workspaces proves the benefits, and how it can be helpful, for everyone.
Learning about the comforts of biophilic design made me question, why are we just introducing ideas like this now? Even though these ideas are being publicized, they are being largely ignored and swept under the carpet. It has predominantly been believed that work should not be comfortable but a place of productivity. Sounds a little inhuman to me, prison-like if you will. Why are we conditioned to believe that comforts increase laziness, when in fact it may increase efficiency?
Now would be a good time to define what I mean when I say “comforts.” Yes, the whole time I have been saying comforts (with the “s”) on purpose. The Oxford Dictionary defines comfort (without the “s”) as, “a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint.” Yes, that is the correct definition for comfort, but what about comforts (with the “s”)? Personally, I view comforts to be anything that relieves you from stress or other strong emotions. This could include a person, group of people, object, place, or activity, the options are infinite. The only requirement is that it puts YOUR mind to ease. When I asked my peers to fill out a survey I made about comforts, most people listed that theirs include going outside, spending time with family and friends, watching TV, video games, cooking…the list was pretty much endless (Smith). This is because many people have more than one comfort; as mentioned before, these are tools that are completely engineered to help you get past tough situations and strong emotion.
Okay, so let’s get more into what comforts actually are. Personally, I believe that they are typically broken down into two classes: physical and emotional comforts. Do not let this confuse you since what they mean is pretty obvious due to the name. Physical comforts include anything that you actually do: activities, napping, going for a walk, etc. Emotional comforts are when you have an attachment to a certain item or place, when using that item or going to that place you feel comfort. Some people may only have one type of comfort, and others may have comforts that fall under both categories. In the end they do not have large differences, but it makes it easier to talk about comforts when we can categorize them. The type of comfort someone uses does not have a large impact since they eventually do the same thing, creating peace of mind.
Here is another example of physical and emotional comforts in a real-life situation. Illustrated in “The Sadness of Lives and the Comfort of Things,” Darach Turley and Stephanie O’Donohoe focus on the life of a widow tracing the daily life choices that helped her mourn the new loss of her husband. Within the article the authors highlight this to show the reader that “The objects and places associated with her late husband marked out…that things can confront as well as comfort us” (Turley and O’Donohoe 1345-46). Obviously, losing someone in your life is a very highly emotional experience that a lot of people are not prepared to deal with. As seen in this scenario, in order for the widow to continue her daily life, she found comfort in carrying around some of her late husband’s belongings and leaving his items around the house. When going about her life, like going to work or the store, if a sudden wave of emotion struck her, she would have the objects to help to calm her down. By doing so, it allowed her to be productive with the requirements of life as well as being tranquil with the loss of her husband. Yes, this is a very morbid example, but it is also very real. However, this is a perfect way of illustrating how certain objects from life experiences can help us to move past the coming tribulations that are thrown our way.
Is it reasonable to have a persons’ comforts infiltrated into everyday life while still having time for all of the happenings of life? That is for you to decide. Yes, some peoples’ comforts may be more complex and time consuming than others, but does that really matter? For example, someone might find comfort in taking a long walk outside while another person finds comfort in playing with a fidget. Although everyone has differences in what calms them down, I believe that it is important to take a step back and embrace these comforts in order to clear the mind so one can, in the end, be more productive.
Think of this scenario. You just walked in the front door of the building that you work in. You hear your phone chime and look down to see a text from your mother. She has just informed you that something urgent came up and she does not have the time to come visit you on your birthday. You instantly feel your heart sink into your stomach, but you have an eight-hour shift still ahead of you. What do you do? Continue to go up to your desk and try to get your work done while having this news lingering in your mind, preventing you from getting much done? Or do you let your boss know that you need to take your lunch break early in order to clear your mind so you can actually get your work done? Essentially, the choice is yours, but I do believe it is clear which will have the most benefit emotionally and work wise.
So… why is it that we leave the use of our comforts until we reach our breaking point? Shouldn’t we just include our comforts in our daily routine to prevent breakdowns? The answer seems pretty obvious but why does this seem peculiar in our society? I believe the disconnect lies within the (great or not-so great?) American culture. Adam Gopnik, an American writer, wrote an essay on the subject of busyness and what that means for him, and his family, while living in New York City. In his essay, Gopnik writes, “We are instructed to believe that we are busier because we have to work harder to be more productive, but everybody knows that busyness and productivity have a dubious, arm’s-length relationship.” By saying that busyness and productivity have an arms-length relationship, he is saying that people believe that busyness and productivity are often the same thing. However, as proven through his essay, if one is focused on being busy, productivity usually falters. Busyness and comforts may seem like a juxtaposition and a waste of time to compare, to you, but that just shows how you have been shaped by society to think that way. Why can they not be compared? I do not know, and I bet that you do not have a valid argument stating that the two are not related. I can explain just how closely related the two really are.
Busyness (sigh), unfortunately, has become a large portion of American culture to a point that the average American citizen identifies as a “workaholic”. This is the root of the problem that I am addressing; why are our comforts separate from daily activities? No, I am not saying that this is only seen in people that DO work a lot, it can be seen in anyone, due to this money-hungry lifestyle that a lot of people live, and it is unknowingly implemented into our lifestyle routines. We are used to burning the candle at both ends. This can be directly related to why we feel as if we have no time to include our comforts. Most people are improperly disciplined to believe that any spare time we have should be spent working. So, when we often have extra time left on our plate, we tend to do what we know best — continue working.
The issue with this is that we often do not confront emotions or other experiences that we are dealing with outside of work and responsibilities. This way of thinking causes us to push spending personal time to the side, along with the extra time it may take to incorporate comforts. Think of the saying “American Dream”. It sounds really awesome when you say it, but to learn that the truth behind it is that you sacrifice everything you have, although it may not be a lot, to come to America and make a life for yourself? What does this process look like? Working all the time, going to school, struggling to afford food for yourself and family, all while being in a completely different cultural environment. So, why have we allowed this place that we call home to be a trademark for hard work? I do not know the answer and that is exactly why I am proposing these questions to you.
Okay so back to the topic of comforts. Yes, busyness and the “work all the time” persona that American culture has embodied plays a large role in why we draw a fine line between ourselves and what brings us comfort. It is almost like Uncle Sam is saying, “why would you have fun and make yourself comfortable when you can work all the time? Money is the only real comfort.” However, that is very far off from the truth, and we can tell Uncle Sam he needs a reality check. Obviously, Uncle Sam did not say that, but that is the idea the American Dream persona creates.
Now we are going to totally switch gears and include another vital part of comforts and the role that they play in the development of children. I believe that for most people it is a common sight to see a child walking down the street with one hand in their guardian’s, and the other gripping onto a toy of some sort like their life depends on it. Isn’t this a prime example of including a comfort in everyday life that a lot of people can relate to? In “The Strong Bond Between Children and Comfort Objects,” Joanne Lewis highlights how, for some children, having a comfort item is very beneficial for their transition to independence. Some of the benefits listed for these comfort objects include how they:
Help children relax and get to sleep, are companions that children can talk to, sleep alongside, and share experiences, provide reassurance when children are separated from their parents, e.g. at bedtime or childcare, provide comfort when children are frightened or upset, help children feel secure in unfamiliar environments by providing a link between a new situation and the comfort of home. (Lewis)
So… you can probably tell where I am going from here. Why is it so hard to allow ourselves to push life aside for a moment and incorporate comforts into our routine when doing so was very crucial for our development? Yes, it might be strange if every adult started carrying around babydolls, toy trucks, and pacifiers but…what works for you, works for you.
Now, let’s not ignore that when a child gives up their comfort object it is a huge turning point in their development. It is a switch from dependency to independence. So, yes this is technically very important that we still do not cling onto the same item we did when we were toddlers. However, could this practice be reintroduced in other stages of our life and development? Take this as an example: if we were to have a very stressful period of time when all seemed to be failing us, perhaps we got into the habit of carrying a fidget toy around wherever we pleased. In times when we felt the stress spike, we would play with the fidget. As time went on and we started to feel better and recover from this trying time, we felt ourselves leaving behind this object and depending on it less. Seems like this practice can still be used, on a less child-esque level.
So…why as we got older, did we not get in the habit to replace this comfort? Yes, comfort items from childhood age out, but could we transfer that need of comfort in our routine to something more realistic and compatible to our lives and responsibilities? Would the role of a comfort item or practice produce more benefits throughout teenage and adult years? The questions are endless, but they all come down to one word, why? Why did we stop this practice? Why have we made it weird in our society? Why do we only resort to our comforts in severe moments of stress and breaking points?
It is easy to be severely negative when focused on this topic, as you can see from reading my paper. However, there are changes that are being made throughout society that are definitely a step in the right direction. In “Providing Quiet Spaces In the Wide-Open Workplace,” Priyanka Dayal McCluskey, a reporter for The Boston Globe, focused on workspaces and what they are doing to provide for their employees during work hours so they can take a step away and enjoy quiet spaces. Through her observations McCluskey includes many examples of what current businesses are doing, as well as what Todd Dundon, a principal at the Boston Architecture and Design firm, had to say when he observed that “companies are getting more sophisticated and understand the need to provide spaces that attract and retain talent. . . . The key is choice and providing the right balance.” The correlation between attracting talent and obtaining it through balance is very important to highlight. By providing these spaces for employees, it allows for them to step away for a few minutes and return with a clear mind to their work. This, as mentioned before, promotes success in addressing our emotions to allow for productivity.
Yes, it is important that changes are being made by businesses, yet it is not the most likely that many corporations are willing to do this. When I asked my peers, 30% said that their work and/or school provided them the space and time to embrace their comforts. Only 13% of them felt as if they were at work and overcome with severe stress that they would feel comfortable resorting to their comforts. Additionally, 26% of respondents said they would feel comfortable at school resorting to comforts (Smith). Why are these numbers so low? Why have we made it atypical to have an outlet for emotional release in our routines at work and/or school? What can we do to change this?
In “Comfort, Well-Being and Quality of Life,” a group of medical professionals came together to talk about how comfort is directly related to a person’s quality of life. As mentioned in their article, “The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘well-being’ as ‘the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy,’” highlighting the fact that you cannot describe and promote a person’s well-being if you do not make them comfortable (Pinto et al. 7). By knowing that information, it is important to take in our daily practices and evaluate if we are promoting our own well-being and if we could improve it by including comforts, which is what I have been getting at all along.
It is a good feeling to know that we are headed in the right direction, but you may be feeling like you do not know where to go from here. That is okay, since there is no real answer. If you step away from this article while retaining any information, I will hope you are walking away brainstorming a list of ways to incorporate your very own comforts into your daily life. There are many changes that need to be made socially, but it all begins with what you do yourself in order to step away and breathe from the complexities of life. Read a book. Ride a bike. Write in a journal. The decision is yours.
Works Cited
“Comfort.” Oxford Dictionary (2010). Oxford University Press.
“Everything You Need to Know about Biophilic Design.” Space Refinery, 8 Mar. 2024.
Gopnik, Adam. “Bumping Into Mr. Ravioli” The New Yorker, 23 Sept. 2002.
Lewis, Joanne. “The Strong Bond Between Children and Comfort Objects.” Care for Kids, Care for Kids Group Pty Ltd, 21 June 2023.
McCluskey, Priyanka Dayal. “Providing Quiet Spaces in the Wide-Open Workplace.” BostonGlobe.Com, The Boston Globe, 17 Nov. 2016.
Pinto, Sara, et al. “Comfort, Well-Being and Quality of Life: Discussion of the Differences and Similarities Among the Concepts.” Porto Biomedical Journal, vol. 2, no. 1, 2017, pp. 6-12. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pbj.2016.11.003.
Smith, Reese. “Comforts Survey” Google Survey. March 27, 2024.
Turley, Darach, and Stephanie O’Donohoe. “The Sadness of Lives and the Comfort of Things: Goods as Evocative Objects in Bereavement.” Journal of Marketing Management, vol. 28, no. 11-12, 2012, pp. 1331-53. https://doi.org/10.1080/0267257X.2012.691528.