The decisions I made in adapting my essay to video form were trimming an original 7-minute audio essay into a three-minute music video. The first steps I took to adapt my video essay was I printed out an audio script of my audio essay and examined the portions I could see myself recreating through visual effects. I circled main parts of my audio essay I believed were part points I could reinvent through videos. The section I wanted to focus on would be the first image of my father;
“My dad was taking forever…It was moments like these that I wondered if we were biologically related. I wish he was more like the rest of us, careless and quick… I got frustrated when I saw him through the first floor windows, moving room to room, checking off a list. I honked the horn to remind him once again. He was taking forever…Once he made it to the car, without thinking, I closed the door and started the engine.” (License to Lose 0:03-0:35)
I believed this scene would be my main focus for the video essay because it moves forward the idea of a struggling father and daughter relationship further. I believed I could build an image which would be translatable through visuals. My next decision would be researching different types of video essays and how they were developed from such small personal stories to become a much shorter, reflective personas of the writer. I watched short videos like Chen’s Grandpa, Radtke’s That Kind of Daughter and Bresland’s Mangoes to help me figure out the types of techniques I would like to use in my visual median. Just as I struggled with recording my audio story, I began to struggle recording my video clips. I was confident in my audio cover because I had taken previous feedback from my classmates and learned how to correctly adjust my volume and pauses between my words. I knew what I wanted to say and how I was going to say it. But I did not know what visual effects to begin with. How would I start filming, which camera would I use, should I use old home films or could I search for some online, if I do film, what angle should I film at? Many thoughts were pouring in. So I decided to sketch a rough sample of what my storyboard would resemble, this way I could sketch and example of what each scene would play on screen.
After I was assigned into my video group I was faced with my biggest dilemma. I would have to avoid using literal images to represent scenes. I had to use metaphorical images and transition each between one another while relating the image to the text I would be recording. The burden of creating meaning behind images was a difficult challenge. I began to research metaphors and similes to explain my theme of self-maturity, exploration and reflection. My story was focused on a daughter’s story about the differences she notes between herself and her father while realizing the commonality of their relationship to one another. It was a powerful and detailed story but to bring it to life through video would have to be played in a flashback sequence.
I decided that I would build my entire video using nature to reflect admiration for growth and beauty. I picked out animated clips of a plant slowly growing, flashed to a scene of a person organizing fruits and vegetables by color and returning to an animation of a flower blooming and slowly swaying in the wind. Just as I was comfortable, I remembered the words juxtaposition and unexpected endings. My video was lacking many transitional pieces. There seemed to be no harmony among the images texts and audio. My audience would lose attention with the distracting flashing images. They would not be able to reflect on my video clip and think my video was great. So I decided to focus on setting the scene. I searched for video clips of road trips and calming music, this way I would be able to bring my audience into my world. I also found that using the sound effects from my previous audio essay not only brought too much detail to my essay but it also would distract my audience from imagining themselves in my place. Some techniques I used in my video were flashes of black empty screens because I wanted my audience to see the images as any normal person would, slow memories of life flashing before their eyes.
Something I struggled with a lot was the use of sounds and tones to help form the message behind what I wanted my readers to feel. Unlike what I learned from the audio essay we had listened to in class and I had created myself, I had trouble finding and using background music. As simple as it may seem, picking the right tempo was difficult. Music was the one source I wanted to master. It would set the atmosphere and transition of my video from scene to scene, so it needed to be correct. Each time I thought I found a perfect song, I would receive feedback that it was too slow, quiet or fast-paced for my essay. I finally decided to settle on a slow instrumental piano tune to avoid any irritation because my goal was to flow in harmony with the essay and visual, not overpowering. In the end I think I made a good decision.
The decisions I made in producing my radical revision of my audio and video essays considering how this process has shaped my understanding of what an essay is, does and can be are I learned that each of my essays reflect the goals and characteristics of myself. My essays all happen to be informal, personal and reflective (associative) which is what any good essayist is supposed to accomplish. A good essay is supposed to be subjective, autobiographical and is designed to mess with the audience’s expectations. An essay should be self-questioning and self-conscious, which I did as I spoke directly to my audience; briefing them about my family history through actions, focus on my dad’s habits and the differences between my father and I. I might not have questioned my audience about their own families but I questioned my behaviors and reactions through audio. I do not argue, or try to persuade and solve my problems within my essays. Instead I just states my own point of view and let the readers follow me into the crevices of my mind.