The decisions I made in adapting my essay were difficult. As my professor would know, I changed my topic many different times. First I began by trying to focus on a memory like Rachel, our graduate student assistant did. Her essay was based on sleeping, why humans sleep and what happens to her when she sleeps. I had decided I wanted to use one of my proposals from the textual essays we had written previously for class. I had gotten great feedback on the story of myself as a young writer developing skills to become an English major. I thought it was be easy to adapt that story into my audio essay. So I went with it and tried to expand on images and what I felt at each moment. I needed to practice expressing myself through audio so my audience understands my story, all while trying to achieving the “aha!” moment.

It was about a week later, we had a group reading to discuss our stories where I had realized that my essay was too long. All the other students had written personal essays about 1-2 pages long, detailed, straight-to-the-point, funny, conversational and universal. I felt my essay was too long, ordinary and boring. There was no humor in my essay. It felt more like a rant of why I hated my English major so much. So I changed my entire story around the following week. It would now be a story about a student writing the exact assignment I had received and commenting about the struggles they begin face as they write. I figured this story is something everyone in class could relate to, it is a mundane and personal account of my life and still has context within. But just as I finished posting my new essay on Google drive, my team and group members commented that it was a good story but they liked the other one better. They felt the other one was a better challenge to take on. They said my other story was something they could already imagine and would love to hear. I wish I got more feedback from other students on how to improve my new essay rather than compare and contrast the two.

After February 9^th I gave up on both stories due to the stress. We spent class after class discussing, analyzing, listening and reading so many great stories like NRA vs NEA by Sarah Vowell, Kern’s Writing for Broadcast and The Bitter Fruits of Wakefulness by Joell Lovell. Each so great it made me second guess all my work. I just wanted an easy story to dictate like Vowell or Lovell. My two stories were nothing compared to them. So I met with my professor and she advised me that audio essay do not have to be fantastic or funny, they just have to matter to the person writing it. That’s when I remembered McPhee’s The Search for Marvin Gardens, Antin’s The Theory and Practice of Postmodernism: A Manifesto and Fassler’s story about a dog with a bloody paw. I decided that I could write about anything. So I wrote my third story from scratch about my stress ball collection. This story detailed what I had thought of myself as an English student and the stress I am under. I started off confident.  I planned to incorporate sounds from pumping my stress balls as I wrote to act as a hear beating under stress or panic. Sounds of frustrated sighs, punching pillows and screams to illustrate a stressed out student. A dialogue between my sister and me as she tries to convince me I can get through a writing assignment. It was going well.

But once again, I hated it. It felt almost too long and ordinary. So my last and final change after weeks of deliberation was a new story. This one was a simple 2 paged detailed tale about a family trip to Six Flags. I pretty much studied podcasts to get a good idea of how I wanted this to sound. Because it had to sound conversational and relaxed I decided not to write out the whole story but just sketch key points to highlight later on in detail. I began for the first time by recording my story through audio. I used my cellphone as a microphone and hit record. I pretended I was recording another YouTube video and told my story. After I was done, I played it back so I could hear what I needed to fix; my pitch, pronunciation, speed, or even remove details that took away from the story. I then proceeded to record everything I said in a document for later reference. After I studied my voice and made my corrections, I recorded myself over and over again until I was satisfied. Then I decided to add music to fit the theme of lost items on a trip. To set a mood of panic, I decided to keep my voice moving fast throughout the script, while the music in the background is calm like everything else around me at the time. I had trouble connecting the father daughter part to my story but overall I believe I did well.

I focused on my pace a lot more than I thought I would have. But I think by doing this, my piece will impact more with listeners. Since I have a tendency to read too quickly, stutter and ramble I think reciting my words slower and enunciating have proven to be more effective in recording my voice. I learned how evoke more emotion in my essay by listening to Wheeler, Vowell and Lovell’s audio essays. They have taught me to emphasize with my readers using my voice and actual words instead of literal and persuasive words.

I have learned that what makes an audio essay more distinctive is it actually appears more personal, concrete and universal than an essay would have. With an essay we would have to guess who was speaking, what they were thinking, why they thought that and what makes it so important. But with an audio essay there is no need to over-analyze a story. It is already being told through the author’s voice. No matter what story the author recites, you understand as a member of their audience you are taking part in an intimate and personal conversation. The author is allowing you to enter their minds and judge for yourself. Their stream of consciousness is now flowing into your ears offering their audience a more direct communication with language.