Audio
The Phobia of Ducks and Colds:
Music Intro: George Ezra “Blame it on me”
Sitting in the train, I decided to never have children. A group of middle school boys just enter the train, playing nutcracker. Do not confuse it with the Tchaikovsky’s beautiful ballet. They are standing in the middle of the train and punching each other in the crotch screaming “Here comes the nutcracker!” Every single person in the train is stressed out by them, but no one complains about it. I should have observed the people in the train instead of the park. I could have talked for hours about my observations of the diverse population of Boston. Now that I think about it, I definitely want to see the Nutcracker performance of the Boston’s Ballet. But I prefer my green bench in the park. It brings back enlightening memories of my childhood.
It was my first time going to the Public Garden. Before, I just got to the Boston Common, a rather grey and gloomy area compared to the beautiful garden right behind it. The noise of children playing around and boring machines from the construction site nearby, drown out the quacking of the ducks. I am sitting on a green bench and enjoy the picturesque scene of two beautiful swans forming a heart shape with their long necks. The only annoying thing is that the mother sitting next to me, is constantly reminding her daughter to watch out. “Alanis, don’t fall in the water. Alanis, don’t get dirty!” is all I here. Alanis wasn’t doing anything reckless to justify her mother’s concern, in my opinion. She was just crouching on the edge of the pond, playing with stones she found in the water. She wore a black dress with black and white striped tights. Her long brown hair was held together by a white ribbon. Every piece of cloth was neatly color-coordinated. Alanis seemed to have a lot of fun, playing with other children on the pond and watching the ducks dipping their head under water. People walking by stopped to enjoy the charming scene, taking pictures of the animals or children? I don’t know.
Why does everybody think they are so cute? I mean the pushy squirrels and ducks from Boston Common. Everybody is delighted with those filthy and bacteria covered creatures, taking pictures and even trying to touch them. That’s just gross. I bet their carry some kind of disease. Observing the ducks make me think about my duck-childhood trauma. When I was about 3 years old, I was attacked and bitten by a duck. My family was on vacation in Amsterdam and we stayed in a Center Parcs bungalow, which was located next to a pond full of vicious ducks. I even believe that’s my first memory I actually remember. I was so traumatized that I wouldn’t even touch my small umbrella with a wooden duck face on the handle for years. Maybe I am exaggerating, my dad doesn’t even remember that incident, and my mum says it wasn’t that bad after all. Thank God it’s over now and I can actually stand the sight of a duck. But I still hate pigeons for the previously mentioned reasons.
The cold wind blows on my face, still tanned from the tropical heat wave that occupied Boston in the last months. I remember my landlord saying, that the weather in New England is always unpredictable, so I shall be prepared for everything. Winter is coming. Thank God I leave the east coast just before the snow comes… But now I have a problem: it’s cold, windy and it rains, and I don’t have a cap to protect my ears from falling off. I left all my winter clothes in Germany, because I just wanted to take one suitcase. It is not easy to pack clothes for three seasons into one suitcase, so I had to compromise. I am a hat person, I can wear anything from a headband to cap. It’s the same thing with big sun glasses, but that would be another story. So, I am on my way to Haymarket on that stormy day. I realize that I need to buy a cap, the hood on my jacket is not enough. I look around and noticed that the cold weather is apparently only bothering me and no one else around. It is funny how different people react to weather conditions: some wear long trousers in summer and others wear no cap in winter. I am very sensitive to extreme weather, so need to be prepared. I need to buy a cap. Every time it gets cold at the end of the year, I wonder how many people actually don’t wear a cap in winter. One friend of mine told me once “You like hats, you are lucky. But I don’t think they suit me, so I prefer to freeze rather than to look funny.” I will never understand that.
I need to think about the mother-daughter scene I witnessed at the Boston Public Garden quite a lot. It somehow stuck to my head. This overprotective behavior really reminds me of my mum. Being a spoiled single child, I always had the full attention of my parents. But I pretty early noticed that compared to my classmates’ parents, my mum was a little bit overprotective. The first time I went to a disco, my parents just happen to walk our dog next to the location. I always have to be attainable, otherwise my mum thinks I got abducted or something bad happened to me. My urge for a warm cap in winter is definitely one consequence of that kind of education. My mum always says: “Ubierz czapkę bo się przeziębisz!” (You need to put on a cap, so you don’t catch a cold!) I don’t know, maybe there’s also a phobia for that. The fear of getting a cold because you don’t wear a hat. That sound ridiculous, but if something like that exists, I’ll definitely have it!
Kind of ironic that I am having a cold right now recordings this essay, even though I’ve worn a cap.
Closing Music: Capital Cities “Safe and Sound”
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