Introduction
After spending 14 weeks on the theory of essay writing, I think I slowly understand what it is. Let me put it this way: I now it’s NOT what I thought it was at the beginning of this class. An essay is not a short academic term paper. But all the examples we had to read were so different in form and content, and I honestly wouldn’t consider some of them to be essays. However, they had certain things in common. First, they are rather short pieces of literature, just like Huxley explains in his writing “[…] the essay is a literary device foe saying almost everything about almost anything. By tradition, almost by definition, the essay is a short piece, and is therefore impossible to give all things full play within the limits of a single essay.” (p.88) Second, many authors like Ozick compared the essay to a poem: “Though it is written in prose, it is closer to in kind to poetry than to any other form” (p. 162). Third, the style of writing or rather the content of an essay reflects the inside of the author. That is the one thing every single essay shared, the very personal and emotional handwriting of its creator. Not linear and comprehendible for the reader, but as Sanders phrases it “The writing of an essay is like finding one’s way through a forest without being quite sure what game you are chasing, what landmark you are seeking. You sniff down one path, until some heavy smell tugs you in a new direction, […]” (p.131) The forest metaphor reflects the structure of the essay very well. You begin with one topic, object or idea, and let your imagination and associations with it guide you, in a way that even the author may not know how the essay will end. We also used the terms arms of a river in our class to explain this feature. For me, this illustrates the best of how to write an essay.
So what about my essay? How does it fit into my “understanding” of this art form? I didn’t really use any authors from the D’Agata anthology as a guideline to follow to write my own essay. However, my essay is very intimate and consists of very personal stories, which are mostly true. It almost felt like psychoanalysis, where I reflect upon my behavior and fears, finding reasons for that in my childhood. The first step was to decide on a topic for my textual essay, with the title “The Green Bench”. At the beginning, I wanted to write about my experience as an exchange student. But this idea was too broad and obvious. So I decided to write about eavesdropping. I like to listen to the conversation of strangers on the street, train or public garden. So on a sunny Friday afternoon, I spend three ours sitting on a green bench in Boston Public Garden, close to the duck pond. True to the essence of essay writing, I had no clue how my essay will look like. Luckily, a Grandmother with her daughter and grandchild caught my attention, as they sit down beside me. The adults were way too worried about Alanis and constantly reminded her to watch out. I took this observation as a starting point for my textual essay, and reflected on my relationship to my mum. She was or is also very protective of me, which I illustrated with the memory that I always had to wear a cap in order not to get a cold. The essay raised a lot of questions for future essays, like wearing big sunglasses or being afraid of ducks. I ended my textual essay with a statement that I don’t want to have children. My writing group said that’s a strong and unexpected hook for the audience. So I used this comment to begin my audio adaptation of the essay and included my duck childhood trauma. The title of this adaption is “The Phobia of Ducks and Colds”. Again, I reflect on my mum’s overprotective behavior and the thereby arising tendency of me to wear a cap in winter. I didn’t change very much in the process from textual to audio essay, but I introduced my hypochondriac reaction to germs on wild animals from the Boston Public Garden and added two songs: At the beginning George Ezra’s “Blame it on me” and as closing Capital Cities’ “Safe and Sound”. The songs should emphasize my critical reflection, but also that I am at peace with my mum and that I am not mad at her. At that point, I felt really bad dragging my mum into all of this. It made her look like a crazy over protective person, who she is not!!!! This is the reason why I decided to focus on my disgust in the video adaptation of my essay. It was actually Theresa’s idea, after talking to her about my hypochondriac fear of germs. I decided on my title “Disgust”. But what kind of images should I show? I spend a whole weekend on YouTube in the search of good footage about disgust and lost faith in human kind. I have to admit it was also the first time I actually watched the two girls one cup video that went viral this year…really disgusting. After this life-changing experience, I decided to produce a funny and entertaining video on disgust. By pure chance, the topic of my Studies in Literature and Films class was Disgust in this week, so I added the Charles Darwin quote from Sarah Ahmend’s “The Performativity of Disgust” and clips of the film “Sweet Movie” (1972). Relating to my hypochondriac idea, the second part of my video essay shows beautiful images of moving bacteria and microorganism, with my narrative reflecting on my fear of germs on door knobs and money. At the end, I question my behavior, but the footage shows funny videos of babies who eat lemons for the first time. The final step to conclude my portfolio was to write a revision essay. I decided not to talk about my hypochondria or my mum, but rather focus on my insecurity, food and fear of gas. I included quotes from Charles Darwin to link the revision to my video essay. I hope this introductions explains my approach to the multimedia art of essay and doesn’t make me look like a lunatic;)
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