In the revision of my essay I focused mainly on not telling the story of my experiment as much. I focused on making bigger connections to social norms in the world. I tried to continue to ask questions and to keep the reader engaged. That was really the biggest thing I wanted to do with the revised version of this essay. I wanted to get the reader to think deeper into social norms while keeping a good flow and having them be engaged. I also tried to work in a couple of sources because the first draft lacked any sources. Even though I wanted to work in sources, I also wanted to be the main voice of the article so I made sure not to over-quote. One thing that I didn’t really work too hard on was the intro. This is because my intro was voted the best in the class and I quite liked it as well. All I did was modify it a little bit to talk about social norms so I could go in that direction with the essay.