Lisa DeAngelis, Director | UMass Boston | College of Management | Center for Collaborative Leadership

June 14, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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Is anybody really out there?

A curious thing about a blog is that it can be difficult for the author to understand the impact, if any, that they are having. While we have all sorts of fancy dashboards and metrics, the medium limits our ability to engage in a rich dialogue with our readers.

While I fully understand that one purpose for a blog is to gain wide visibility, I am choosing to approach this blog as intimate conversation with individuals interested in thoughts on leadership. My hope is that as I co-create this with my readers, this audience will slowly reach others who share this interest.

This week I’d like to hear from you. Is there a particular blog that you enjoyed? If so, which one and why? Are there things that I’ve written about that you’d like me to explore more deeply? Are there things that you wish I would write about? If so, what? Are there things that I’ve written about that just didn’t resonate for you?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

June 7, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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Next Chapters

Building off of last week’s blog, I’ve recently heard that the last hotel I worked in will be closing soon. The Inn At Harvard, an institution in Harvard Square for the past 22 years, will be repurposed as living quarters for Harvard University students.

My experience at this hotel offered me my first exposure to both an authentic leader and to collaborative leadership. The General Manager of the property expected each member of his executive team to contribute fully to the success of the hotel. He modeled for us that the only way to do this was to take a broad view, rather than focusing on the best interests of our particular domain. He welcomed our suggestions, ideas, and pushback. He encouraged us to work through our differences through honest and constructive dialogue. And he challenged us to live up to the potential that he saw in each of us.

Over the years I’ve lost track of some of the members of that team, but those that I have remained in contact with have all moved into significant leadership positions. Each of us fondly recall the gentle guidance and tough love with which he mentored us, as we now mentor others.

Next week I will have the unique experience of being a guest at the hotel. It is bittersweet to think that I was one of the employees early in the hotels history, and will now be one of its final guests. In chatting with the GM the other day, we both remarked that, while it is sad that The Inn is closing, the memories we have are really about the amazing people and wonderful relationships that began there.

I hope that I will have an opportunity to see many of these friends while I am there, to thank them for our shared experience, and to wish them every happiness in their next chapter.

May 31, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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New beginnings

Today is commencement at UMass Boston, where thousands of undergraduates and graduates will fulfill one chapter of their journey and begin another. For many of them, they worry about “what they want to do with the rest of their life.” The reality is, according to Bureau of Labor Statistics data from 1978 to 2010, individual’s average just more than 11 jobs between ages 18 and 46. While BLS doesn’t capture statistics on career changes, anecdotal information points to a high likelihood that these job changes reflect at least one career shift.

My own career is an example of this. I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Hospitality, Restaurant and Institutional Management. My first three jobs were in operations within hotels. I then decided that I wanted to make the career change to Human Resources, and was afforded that opportunity within the hotel I worked for. After a promotion to another hotel within the chain (and a decade within the industry), I decided that I wanted to change industries. I had the privilege of honing my HR skills in a call center operation, an IT consulting firm, Insurance, and Construction Management. Through these experiences I was able to realize that what I am passionate about is helping others to realize their fullest potential. I am fortunate to be in a position where I am able to do this work with rising professionals across our region.

One of the things that I share with those that I coach is to embrace change, to seize opportunities that will stretch them beyond their comfort zone. Whether these come packaged as a job or career change or not, one thing is for sure – the individual will change. By experiencing and reflecting on these challenges, they become more aware of who they are, what is important to them, and what they are passionate about.

May 23, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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Wait, what was I supposed to be doing?

With each passing day it seems as if we are given ever more liberties to be distracted. We’ve evolved from cell phones to mobile email to texting – giving the world more access to us, and us to it. And, if that weren’t enough, our phones are able to download every imaginable app. Couple this with the demands we face each day – from work, family, community and ourselves – and you have a recipe for distraction.

It seems crazy to me that we need laws to help individuals understand that texting while driving is a bad combination. And yet, I was among those who used to take a quick peek at email while sitting at red lights. Admit it, there is a certain addiction to respond when you hear that bing indicating that you have a new message.

Several years ago I had a wonderful mentor, a senior executive at a prominent global organization, who shared that she did not check email at night or on weekends. Her team knew that if there was an emergency they could reach her by cell phone, otherwise whatever was happening could be addressed during normal business hours. This was one method she used to ensure that when she was not at work, she was focusing on the other aspects of her life.

I have also seen an executive ban electronics from meetings. This was not your typical “please turn the device to silent” only to slyly glance at it under the table when you think no one is looking, request. This dictum had the participants leaving their devices in their office. This was his approach to making certain that employees were engaged in the topic at hand.

Studies show that we are healthier, happier, and more productive when we are able to focus.

Having recently started to feel the effects of being pulled in too many directions, I’ve begun to implement a few baby steps to eliminate distractions.

I deleted all but one game app from my phone. The one that remains is the one that I play with my husband – a fun way to stay connected when we’re not together.
The only noise my phone makes is when I receive a text or phone call.
Blocking time on my calendar to work on things that require concentration.

How do you deal with this?

May 17, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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Leaders need to get out of the way

Have you ever had a meeting where one of your team shared the impact of something you’d done or said and you thought, “wow, that’s not what I had intended at all.”? Can’t think of a single instance? Let me see if I can help jog your memory.

An employee comes to you with a question and, rather than engaging their supervisor, you provide a response. The supervisor then, if you are lucky, shares with you how they felt undermined by this.
In a meeting you either offer the first solution, or interject early in the conversation supporting an idea. After the meeting a participant (or participants) approach you, if you are lucky, to let you know that you stemmed the discussion by jumping in.
Your boss asks you to work on a new concept or project. Rather than engaging your team, you either work on it yourself or simply ask your team for specific inputs. When the concept or project gets presented, you discover that many of your team members have experience and/or interest that could have influenced the end product.

If that’s not what you intended, then what happened? Let me suggest this. In the early stages of your career, you are taught, rewarded and recognized for your ability to get things done. Then you become a manager and you try to figure out how to get things done through others. But, somewhere along the way, you begin to make the shift from manager to leader. As a leader, your role shifts from having all the answers to asking the right questions. It becomes a place of fostering and developing the capabilities of those around you.

As leaders, it is our responsibility to hire, train and develop top talent. We need to understand what the capabilities and interests are for our employees and then we need to make opportunities to stretch them toward their potential. While things may not get done as quickly as if you’d done it yourself, or in the way that you would have done it, your team will learn invaluable lessons that will help them in their continued development.

Please share your stories of when you’ve gotten out of the way or when a leader has gotten out of the way for you.

April 26, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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A shout out to the coaches

Like many parents of school-aged kids, I find myself in the midst of my son’s spring activities season. For us, this includes soccer, baseball and honor’s chorus. This year, though, I find myself watching these activities through a different lens.

First, I am struck by – and incredibly grateful for – the amazing coaches that my son has had the good fortune of learning from. This is not to say that the coaches we’ve had throughout the years haven’t been as good, because they have. It’s more so a reflection the middle school seems to be the time when the different talents of the kids start to become apparent.

These coaches volunteer their time. They do so because they love the game and because they want to ignite that same passion in the kids. They work to understand each child, to know their strengths, and to figure out how to bring out their fullest potential. They give the kids the critical feedback that they need in order to continue developing, and they do it in a constructive, supportive way.

These coaches have learned that the key to success as a team is to embrace the unique gifts that each child offers. And, in seeing that potential and nourishing it, these coaches are having a profound impact on how our children see themselves and what they are capable of.

I’d welcome you to share your stories – as a coach, as a child, or as a parent. What is the impact of this kind of coach?

April 12, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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First seek to understand

I recently had a conversation with someone who made the wise comment, “If you want to change someone’s mind, first you need to understand what’s in it.” As I reflect on that statement, I think, perhaps, that this framework is not broad enough.

Before we focus on trying to change someone else’s mind, we need to be aware of our own. By this I mean are we truly listening to the other person to understand their perspective? Are we curious about the mental models that their information may be evoking in us? Are we open to considering what it might mean to us to adopt their perspective?

This takes practice. We have been taught, explicitly and implicitly, to listen through the lens of reaction. As the person is talking, we are only half-listening to them while we begin to frame a response.

A simple but effective way to counter this tendency is to say, “If I understand you correctly, what you are saying is….. (and then summarize what you heard).” The hard part of this exercise is to not overlay your interpretation of what they’ve said. Two wonderful things happen. First, the person speaking feels acknowledged. Second, you’ve been given the opportunity to clearly understand what they are trying to share.

The next step in this process involves curiosity. Being curious about what has led a person to make their statement provides further insight and perspective about “what’s in their mind.” At the same time, being curious about what’s driving your response provides insight into “what’s in your mind.” By reflecting on the beliefs, values, and experiences that influence your retort, you have the opportunity to look more objectively at the new information being shared with you.

On second thought, maybe the initial statement is correct, if we are willing to concede that sometimes the mind we change is our own.

April 5, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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“Lean In”

Recently I was invited to hear a talk from Sheryl Sandberg about her book, “Lean In.” While seemingly the all the world is rushing to hear her speak, I spent the week dreading the event of the century. And, here is why.

Without having read the book, I had bought into the early hype that Sandberg’s “feminist manifesto” focused on telling women what they were doing wrong; and why it was their fault that they weren’t getting ahead; and prescribing for women what success meant.

During her dialogue she posed many provocative thoughts:

Do we need to address public policy? Sure, says Sandberg, but don’t think this will magically fix the problem. Scandinavia, she points out, has some of the most progressive public policy in the world and yet less than three percent of the companies in the country are led by women.

If it has been shown that sponsorship and mentoring positively impact career progress (equally for men and women), why don’t more women have sponsors/mentors? Sandberg paints this picture. Today’s pool of mentors – those currently in leadership positions – are overwhelmingly male. Most mentoring/sponsoring discussions take place one-on-one. In today’s society, a man spending time alone with a woman is viewed quite suspiciously. We need to find ways to address this if women are to receive the mentoring/sponsoring they are seeking.

Why is it that behavior that is acceptable of a man is called aggressive when demonstrated by a woman? Sandberg says that all you need to do is go to the playground to see early signs of this. Girls are told, far more often than boys, that they are being “pushy” and that they should play nicely. It should be no wonder then that when middle school children are asked if they want to lead, more boys than girls say yes. She goes on to say that this isn’t about gender; it’s about changing our language.

Sandberg shared her definition of ambition, which is not that everyone should want to be CEO, but that everyone should feel empowered to fully step into what they want to do; that “there is an enormous joy in doing what you love.”

What I came to realize is that Sandberg has effectively used her position, power, and voice to launch a movement. The book has become a vehicle for her, and many others, to begin to talk about what it means to “lean in.”

For me, this was a reminder to reflect on where my information is coming from, and to ensure that I have all of the information that I need before forming an opinion.

March 29, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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Random Acts of Kindness

In the past 24 hours I have witnessed three random acts of kindness, having been the direct recipient of two. The first occurred yesterday. As many of you know I have begun working toward my PhD. One of the key lessons I am learning is that, as a practitioner I may intuitively know what’s “broken”, however, being able to define that issue in a way that is able to be researched is a skill acquired with practice. A classmate of mine, sensing my struggle, offered to take a few minutes to walk with me and help me refine my thinking.

The second took place on the Red Line this morning. Upon my entering the subway car a gentleman signaled me asking if I wanted his seat. Other seats were available, and so we were both able to sit during the commute. As we neared my stop, I approached the gentleman and thanked him for his kind offer. We had a brief, but interesting, conversation about how it takes the same amount of energy to be nice as it does to be rude; and yet there seem to be more acts of rudeness than kindness these days.

The final act happened on the shuttle bus to the University. Just as we were approaching the stop, one of the passengers bag emptied on the floor of the bus. While many people walked over her things, one fellow passenger stopped to help her gather her belongings.

While each of these were small and simple gestures, I would like to believe that they had a positive impact not only on the individuals engaged in the act (the giver and the receiver), but also on those who bore witness to them. Finally, as I reflect on the conversation with the gentleman from the train, I’m reminded of the closing of an earlier blog I’d written, “It is said that we give life to something simply by paying attention to it. I would offer that we refocus our attention on civility – both our own and that of those around us. My hope is that it will be easy for us to begin to identify these actions, and that with a bit of practice, we’ll start noticing them everywhere.” I’m glad to see that my practice is beginning to pay off!

March 22, 2013
by Lisa DeAngelis
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How much time do you spend in your sweet spot?

Yesterday our session with the fellows focused on Authentic Leadership – understanding your capabilities and motivators and the power of operating from the place where the two align (thus, your sweet spot). Bob Coughlin, CEO of Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, crystallized the concept when he shared with the group, “When I figured out what it was that I loved, and what it was that I am passionate about, I realized I found my definition of success.”

So how do you do this? Write down your capabilities – those things that get you through when the going gets tough, and those things that others always seem to look to you to do. My short list includes:

Courage – I know what is right and I have the courage to take action.
Accountability – I have a strong sense of responsibility to myself and others.
Impactful – I am an advocate for individuals who are not in a position to find their own voice. I have a deep respect for human dignity.
Tenacity – When I am faced with a difficult situation, I have the fortitude to keep moving forward when others may give up.
Broad lens – I am able to look at the business and the people sides of an issue and find an optimal solution.

Next, write down what motivates you. Again, as an example, here are a few of mine:

I want to be able to have the power necessary to drive positive change.
I want to be able to spend quality time with my family and friends.
I enjoy being challenged, having new experiences, and solving puzzles.
It is important to me that my work is done well.

Ultimately, for me, my sweet spot centers on helping others realize their fullest potential.

For those who have spent any time in their sweet spot, you know how much energy you get; how it really doesn’t seem like work; and how time seems to fly by. As Bob Coughlin put it, “how many of you don’t have to hit the snooze button in the morning? That is how much I love my job.” Additionally, others are drawn to work with you, and will put in the extra effort, because your passion and clarity about the purpose of what you are doing is so palpable.

The real power comes when you are able to engage others to live from their sweet spot as well.