Lisa DeAngelis, Director

In the past two months the world – my world – has lost two incredible men to cancer. This blog is not about the horrible disease that claimed their lives; this is about honoring how they chose to live their lives.

Both men were men of character, who held strong beliefs and values and who strove to live by them. Both were entrepreneurs but neither defined themselves by the work that they did. Rather, they used the work as a platform to express their unique gifts.

I have had the incredible honor of knowing individuals throughout my life who have had this strong sense of self – this deeper understanding of their life was connected to the lives of others. Each of these individuals has demonstrated the influence that one person – one authentic being – can have on another.

I am often asked why I do the work that I do. For me, this is my gift, to help others understand who they are as a leader – regardless of their title – and the incredible joy and impact that can come from fully living the life you are meant to live. As leaders, where we are able to unlock this potential in ourselves and other, there is the boundless opportunity to create change.

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,

and the life of the candle will not be shortened.

Happiness never decreases by being shared.” – Buddha

While those who knew these men would agree that their time on earth was not nearly long enough, I think that they would also agree with me when I say that the impact that they had – the thousands of candles that they lit – will remain strong.

Dedicated to Fernando Garcia and Jim Tupper

At this morning’s Cafecitos Breakfast, Jackie Palladino of the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston opened her keynote address with this question. She then went on to share her response to this question, noting that, for her, “it is more about principles than positions.” Her list included things such as
• Taking on challenging assignments – stepping out of her comfort zone.
• Being part of intellectually stimulating teams – where ideas can be generated, shaped, executed and refined.
• Building strong relationships – where early warning signs of trouble are brought to her attention and where the people she needs to help fix an issue are already in her network.

During the networking after the event, many of the individuals I spoke with were pondering their response to this question. Some were focused clearly on organizations they wanted to work for, titles they aspired to hold, and the work they would be doing. While others were, like Jackie, thinking about how they wanted to feel about what they were doing and who they were working with. The lesson here is to be thinking about it, to be insightful and deliberate about the direction you want to be moving in. In this way, as opportunities arise, you are better able to make decisions as to whether these will propel you along this path, or create a detour. Detours aren’t necessarily bad, wonderful learning can come from them, and it’s always better when you choose to take the detour rather than suddenly find yourself there, don’t you think?

I feel as though I am just emerging from a long hibernation. This is my first blog in nearly 9 months. Why the hiatus? Was it that I had nothing to write about? Had I lost my desire to engage through this medium? Clearly not! And, yet, I had also reached an inflection point where I knew that I needed to create some space for my self amidst the ever-increasing priorities of life. Perhaps you can relate?

So, I chose to say, “no.” Arguably one of the most difficult words to articulate. Speaking for myself, I don’t want to disappoint others, and I certainly don’t want to miss out on what might turn out to be a fantastic opportunity. This begs the question, how do we know what to say, “no” to? As David Whyte shared so beautifully in The Heart Aroused, “One way to come to yes is to say no to everything that does not nourish and entice our secret inner life out into the world.”

What does this mean? It means understanding, truly, what you are meant to do with your unique talents; and having the courage to create the space to do it. This is no easy task, nor is it something you do once and then move along your merry way. Along your journey, you’ll invariably be faced with the traffic jam – the feeling that you are wading through all of this “work” that is slowing you down in your ability to have the impact, on your self and others, that you are meant to have.

The question becomes, how long does it take you before you realize that you’re stuck? And, once you realize it, what will you do about it? In my case, I chose to create time and space for my self. To say, “no” to things that I could in order to say, “yes” to opportunities that would get me back on track. That decision has led to some amazing opportunities – a teaching assistantship at HBS, two international speaking engagements this summer, the onboarding of a fantastic Executive-in-Residence who will help us take the Center to the next level – and those are only the professional opportunities!

I welcome hearing your stories of how saying “no” has led to an even better “yes.”

For those of you who have been following this blog, our website, and our other social media channels, you know that this has been an amazing, and eventful, year for the Center. We graduated the last January cohort, launched the first September cohort, celebrated the retirement of the founding director, announced the inaugural Building a Better Boston award and Leading the Way award recipients, piloted a webinar series, and much more. All while executing flawlessly on the core business operations.
On top of that, each of the three of us had our own unique opportunities both professionally and personally. The good news is that we work incredibly well together as a team. And, as you might expect, we’re all starting to get a bit “crispy.”
Fortunately, at the beginning of the summer we all plotted out our summer plans, setting our sights on long weekends and weeks away. As each of those has approached, we’ve reminded one another that this is their time away. Time to disconnect and recharge the battery. Time to reconnect with themselves, with their family and friends, with activities they enjoy.
Unfortunately, in our overconnected world, there is an expectation that being on vacation simply means that you won’t physically be in the office. You may even be given a bit more latitude in the amount of time it takes you to respond to an email. For years, I fed into this. I would constantly check and respond to emails, answer voicemails, and even participate in the occasional conference call while on vacation.
The reality is, when an employee truly takes a vacation – even a staycation – everybody wins. The person is able to relax and enjoy their time away. And, they return with renewed energy and, sometimes, even a fresh perspective on an issue they’ve been struggling with.
As a leader, I am reminded that it is important to set the tone through both words and actions. So, as I take my turn to be away next week, I will be disconnecting. I may peruse email once or twice per day but will not respond unless it’s urgent. If something comes up that requires my immediate attention, the team knows how to reach me.
Please don’t look for a blog next Friday as there won’t be one. I’ll be off spending time with my two favorite guys!