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Like every year on November 1st, it is the start of the new season. All that dreadful talk of Halloween has passed. No more jack-o-lanterns, no more inflatable decorations, no more fake webbing, and all that candy for 75% off. Finally, it’s time for the better holiday, and I’m here to make sure you’re prepared for it.

Have you heard jolly music playing nonstop in every store you walk in? If not, talk to the manager and make sure they got on that asap. And remind them that the first song they play has to be that Mariah Carey one.

Did you go to your local, chain coffee house to buy winter-themed drinks in festive cups that are ‘supposed’ to be inclusive for all the holidays this season, but really, it’s just for the best one?

Have you been blinded by all the lights on your way home from work? Sure, it would only be 5 but it’ll be dark out and they’re all so pretty and colorful!

Do you smell the overbearing, spicy scents of candles right at the front of each department store that tells everyone what the superior holiday is?

Have you started decorating your home yet? It’s never too early. The inside is crucial, obviously, but don’t forget to decorate outside your house to remind all your neighbors of the festivities. And if they don’t take the hint, go on and remind them. Absolutely no one can think your neighborhood is lacking this year.

Have you started shopping for gifts? Yes, get some for friends and relatives, but look at sales for the things you love. Nothing says ‘treat yourself’ better than this time of the year.

While you’re at the mall, make sure the entire infrastructure is decorated, top to bottom. It needs to give off that festive vibe to give a wake-up call to everyone who isn’t in the mood yet. Have children started lining up yet at the center of the mall? That’s the best part for those youngsters, aside from the actual gifts, so it’s an absolute must.

Make sure to always be stocked up on sugar cookies and hot chocolate at home! On those cold, windy nights you want to stay away from the many carolers, nosy relatives, and neighbors who still don’t understand the holiday spirit, you want to make sure to lock yourself away and enjoy this time, alone.

And those are just the most crucial things on the list. Now, since you got all the reminders you should know already to prepare, happy Thanksgiving everybody!

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I’ll be your guide in finding a new place and moving out since your landlady randomly decided it was time to sell the house and you couldn’t find anyone else on short notice.

First, have you checked Bookings.com? No? Well, get right on that, they’re really helpful of a site. The chances of looking at a house that’s not really on market can’t be too bad. Oh, and if the page freezes or loads indefinitely, don’t worry about that, I’m sure it’s just a one, or two-, or three-time thing. What are you in the market for again? Oh, why didn’t you tell me before? I’m sure we can…figure something out.

Next, take a look at what places you like so far. Anything stand out, hmm? Well, let’s visit it. Huh, yeah now, what do you mean? Let’s see if it’s really on sale or not. I know I said the chances of something fake can’t be too bad but why take the chance? What’s the address so I can put it into the GPS?

Alright the place looks decent, moderately sized and seems like a good area. Huh, what do you mean the lights are on? Is someone already living here? Did someone beat us to it? Oh, someone’s coming, let’s ask him.

Ok, so that really was one of the fakes, let’s move onto something else. This next one seems promising: okay neighborhood, not too small of a place, let’s call up the owner and get a real viewing.

Alright…so the area wasn’t as great as it seemed. Yeah I realize the neighbors were crazy when that one guy started yelling. Let’s just go to this place next.

Sure, it’s in the ‘definitely not’ pile but we can’t judge a book, or an apartment, by its cover!

Ok you were right, it was terrible. How can you tell how old and smelly a place can be through photos? We’re just going to have to look at the next house. Or how about…rethink what exactly you’re looking for. Oh, don’t look at me like that, you are being just a smidge too meticulous.

You know, you can’t be too picky, you do need to move out as soon as possible. You’re just going to have to win some, lose some. Be in a decent location, have a not-so decent room. Have proper heating, then deal with half a bathroom and an even smaller place. We can look for roommates as well, it shouldn’t be too late to find some now. Just ignore the fact that we’re nearing the end of the month and you’ll be good. Oh, c’mon you can’t fire me, you couldn’t find anyone else to help you out. You’re desperate…where are you going?