I’ll be your guide in finding a new place and moving out since your landlady randomly decided it was time to sell the house and you couldn’t find anyone else on short notice.
First, have you checked Bookings.com? No? Well, get right on that, they’re really helpful of a site. The chances of looking at a house that’s not really on market can’t be too bad. Oh, and if the page freezes or loads indefinitely, don’t worry about that, I’m sure it’s just a one, or two-, or three-time thing. What are you in the market for again? Oh, why didn’t you tell me before? I’m sure we can…figure something out.
Next, take a look at what places you like so far. Anything stand out, hmm? Well, let’s visit it. Huh, yeah now, what do you mean? Let’s see if it’s really on sale or not. I know I said the chances of something fake can’t be too bad but why take the chance? What’s the address so I can put it into the GPS?
Alright the place looks decent, moderately sized and seems like a good area. Huh, what do you mean the lights are on? Is someone already living here? Did someone beat us to it? Oh, someone’s coming, let’s ask him.
Ok, so that really was one of the fakes, let’s move onto something else. This next one seems promising: okay neighborhood, not too small of a place, let’s call up the owner and get a real viewing.
Alright…so the area wasn’t as great as it seemed. Yeah I realize the neighbors were crazy when that one guy started yelling. Let’s just go to this place next.
Sure, it’s in the ‘definitely not’ pile but we can’t judge a book, or an apartment, by its cover!
Ok you were right, it was terrible. How can you tell how old and smelly a place can be through photos? We’re just going to have to look at the next house. Or how about…rethink what exactly you’re looking for. Oh, don’t look at me like that, you are being just a smidge too meticulous.
You know, you can’t be too picky, you do need to move out as soon as possible. You’re just going to have to win some, lose some. Be in a decent location, have a not-so decent room. Have proper heating, then deal with half a bathroom and an even smaller place. We can look for roommates as well, it shouldn’t be too late to find some now. Just ignore the fact that we’re nearing the end of the month and you’ll be good. Oh, c’mon you can’t fire me, you couldn’t find anyone else to help you out. You’re desperate…where are you going?