Lisa DeAngelis, Director

Have you ever had a meeting where one of your team shared the impact of something you’d done or said and you thought, “wow, that’s not what I had intended at all.”?  Can’t think of a single instance?  Let me see if I can help jog your memory.

• An employee comes to you with a question and, rather than engaging their supervisor, you provide a response.  The supervisor then, if you are lucky, shares with you how they felt undermined by this.
• In a meeting you either offer the first solution, or interject early in the conversation supporting an idea.  After the meeting a participant (or participants) approach you, if you are lucky, to let you know that you stemmed the discussion by jumping in.
• Your boss asks you to work on a new concept or project.  Rather than engaging your team, you either work on it yourself or simply ask your team for specific inputs.  When the concept or project gets presented, you discover that many of your team members have experience and/or interest that could have influenced the end product.

If that’s not what you intended, then what happened?  Let me suggest this.  In the early stages of your career, you are taught, rewarded and recognized for your ability to get things done.  Then you become a manager and you try to figure out how to get things done through others.    But, somewhere along the way, you begin to make the shift from manager to leader.  As a leader, your role shifts from having all the answers to asking the right questions.  It becomes a place of fostering and developing the capabilities of those around you.

As leaders, it is our responsibility to hire, train and develop top talent.  We need to understand what the capabilities and interests are for our employees and then we need to make opportunities to stretch them toward their potential.  While things may not get done as quickly as if you’d done it yourself, or in the way that you would have done it, your team will learn invaluable lessons that will help them in their continued development.

Please share your stories of when you’ve gotten out of the way or when a leader has gotten out of the way for you.

Like many parents of school-aged kids, I find myself in the midst of my son’s spring activities season.  For us, this includes soccer, baseball and honor’s chorus.  This year, though, I find myself watching these activities through a different lens.

First, I am struck by – and incredibly grateful for – the amazing coaches that my son has had the good fortune of learning from.  This is not to say that the coaches we’ve had throughout the years haven’t been as good, because they have.  It’s more so a reflection the middle school seems to be the time when the different talents of the kids start to become apparent.

These coaches volunteer their time.  They do so because they love the game and because they want to ignite that same passion in the kids.  They work to understand each child, to know their strengths, and to figure out how to bring out their fullest potential.  They give the kids the critical feedback that they need in order to continue developing, and they do it in a constructive, supportive way.

These coaches have learned that the key to success as a team is to embrace the unique gifts that each child offers.  And, in seeing that potential and nourishing it, these coaches are having a profound impact on how our children see themselves and what they are capable of.

I’d welcome you to share your stories – as a coach, as a child, or as a parent.    What is the impact of this kind of coach?

I recently had a conversation with someone who made the wise comment, “If you want to change someone’s mind, first you need to understand what’s in it.”  As I reflect on that statement, I think, perhaps, that this framework is not broad enough.

Before we focus on trying to change someone else’s mind, we need to be aware of our own.  By this I mean are we truly listening to the other person to understand their perspective?  Are we curious about the mental models that their information may be evoking in us?  Are we open to considering what it might mean to us to adopt their perspective?

This takes practice.  We have been taught, explicitly and implicitly, to listen through the lens of reaction.  As the person is talking, we are only half-listening to them while we begin to frame a response.

A simple but effective way to counter this tendency is to say, “If I understand you correctly, what you are saying is….. (and then summarize what you heard).”  The hard part of this exercise is to not overlay your interpretation of what they’ve said.  Two wonderful things happen.  First, the person speaking feels acknowledged.  Second, you’ve been given the opportunity to clearly understand what they are trying to share.

The next step in this process involves curiosity.  Being curious about what has led a person to make their statement provides further insight and perspective about “what’s in their mind.”  At the same time, being curious about what’s driving your response provides insight into “what’s in your mind.”  By reflecting on the beliefs, values, and experiences that influence your retort, you have the opportunity to look more objectively at the new information being shared with you.

On second thought, maybe the initial statement is correct, if we are willing to concede that sometimes the mind we change is our own.

Recently I was invited to hear a talk from Sheryl Sandberg about her book, “Lean In.”  While seemingly the all the world is rushing to hear her speak, I spent the week dreading the event of the century. And, here is why.

Without having read the book, I had bought into the early hype that Sandberg’s “feminist manifesto” focused on telling women what they were doing wrong; and why it was their fault that they weren’t getting ahead; and prescribing for women what success meant.

During her dialogue she posed many provocative thoughts:

Do we need to address public policy?  Sure, says Sandberg, but don’t think this will magically fix the problem.  Scandinavia, she points out, has some of the most progressive public policy in the world and yet less than three percent of the companies in the country are led by women.

If it has been shown that sponsorship and mentoring positively impact career progress (equally for men and women), why don’t more women have sponsors/mentors?  Sandberg paints this picture.  Today’s pool of mentors – those currently in leadership positions – are overwhelmingly male.  Most mentoring/sponsoring discussions take place one-on-one.  In today’s society, a man spending time alone with a woman is viewed quite suspiciously.  We need to find ways to address this if women are to receive the mentoring/sponsoring they are seeking.

Why is it that behavior that is acceptable of a man is called aggressive when demonstrated by a woman?  Sandberg says that all you need to do is go to the playground to see early signs of this.  Girls are told, far more often than boys, that they are being “pushy” and that they should play nicely.  It should be no wonder then that when middle school children are asked if they want to lead, more boys than girls say yes.  She goes on to say that this isn’t about gender; it’s about changing our language.

Sandberg shared her definition of ambition, which is not that everyone should want to be CEO, but that everyone should feel empowered to fully step into what they want to do; that “there is an enormous joy in doing what you love.”

What I came to realize is that Sandberg has effectively used her position, power, and voice to launch a movement.  The book has become a vehicle for her, and many others, to begin to talk about what it means to “lean in.”

For me, this was a reminder to reflect on where my information is coming from, and to ensure that I have all of the information that I need before forming an opinion.

In the past 24 hours I have witnessed three random acts of kindness, having been the direct recipient of two.  The first occurred yesterday.  As many of you know I have begun working toward my PhD.  One of the key lessons I am learning is that, as a practitioner I may intuitively know what’s “broken”, however, being able to define that issue in a way that is able to be researched is a skill acquired with practice.  A classmate of mine, sensing my struggle, offered to take a few minutes to walk with me and help me refine my thinking.

The second took place on the Red Line this morning.  Upon my entering the subway car a gentleman signaled me asking if I wanted his seat.  Other seats were available, and so we were both able to sit during the commute.  As we neared my stop, I approached the gentleman and thanked him for his kind offer.  We had a brief, but interesting, conversation about how it takes the same amount of energy to be nice as it does to be rude; and yet there seem to be more acts of rudeness than kindness these days.

The final act happened on the shuttle bus to the University.  Just as we were approaching the stop, one of the passengers bag emptied on the floor of the bus.  While many people walked over her things, one fellow passenger stopped to help her gather her belongings.

While each of these were small and simple gestures, I would like to believe that they had a positive impact not only on the individuals engaged in the act (the giver and the receiver), but also on those who bore witness to them.  Finally, as I reflect on the conversation with the gentleman from the train, I’m reminded of the closing of an earlier blog I’d written, “It is said that we give life to something simply by paying attention to it. I would offer that we refocus our attention on civility – both our own and that of those around us. My hope is that it will be easy for us to begin to identify these actions, and that with a bit of practice, we’ll start noticing them everywhere.”  I’m glad to see that my practice is beginning to pay off!

Yesterday our session with the fellows focused on Authentic Leadership – understanding your capabilities and motivators and the power of operating from the place where the two align (thus, your sweet spot).  Bob Coughlin, CEO of Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, crystallized the concept when he shared with the group, “When I figured out what it was that I loved, and what it was that I am passionate about, I realized I found my definition of success.”

So how do you do this? Write down your capabilities – those things that get you through when the going gets tough, and those things that others always seem to look to you to do.  My short list includes:

• Courage – I know what is right and I have the courage to take action.
• Accountability – I have a strong sense of responsibility to myself and others.
• Impactful – I am an advocate for individuals who are not in a position to find their own voice.  I have a deep respect for human dignity.
• Tenacity – When I am faced with a difficult situation, I have the fortitude to keep moving forward when others may give up.
• Broad lens – I am able to look at the business and the people sides of an issue and find an optimal solution.

Next, write down what motivates you.  Again, as an example, here are a few of mine:

• I want to be able to have the power necessary to drive positive change.
• I want to be able to spend quality time with my family and friends.
• I enjoy being challenged, having new experiences, and solving puzzles.
• It is important to me that my work is done well.

Ultimately, for me, my sweet spot centers on helping others realize their fullest potential.

For those who have spent any time in their sweet spot, you know how much energy you get; how it really doesn’t seem like work; and how time seems to fly by.  As Bob Coughlin put it, “how many of you don’t have to hit the snooze button in the morning? That is how much I love my job.”  Additionally, others are drawn to work with you, and will put in the extra effort, because your passion and clarity about the purpose of what you are doing is so palpable.

The real power comes when you are able to engage others to live from their sweet spot as well.

I will profess that I hadn’t really understood the history of this day and so I took a bit of time to visit the website www.internationalwomensday.com.  This holiday harkens back to 1910 when a woman named a Clara Zetkin (Leader of the ‘Women’s Office’ for the Social Democratic Party in Germany) tabled the idea of an International Women’s Day. She proposed that every year in every country there should be a celebration on the same day – a Women’s Day – to press for their demands.  The following year more than one million women and men attended IWD rallies campaigning for women’s rights to work, vote, be trained, to hold public office and end discrimination.

There are still many issues of disparity with regard to gender, but my idealistic side wonders, will there be a moment in our history where there will no longer be a need for these “days?” Will society ever reach a point in which we can stop designing “days” to raise awareness of these issues?  I don’t have an answer to that question, but I can ask myself, what, as a leader, can I do to ensure that my team feels they have equal access, opportunity, and voice.

In recognition of the purpose of this day, how will you press yourself to meet the demand of equality?

This week there has been a great deal of debate over whether Marissa Mayer was right or wrong to eliminate Yahoo’s work-from-home policy.  Having followed much of the discussion, and read the internal memo, I remain confused.  What is the issue that Yahoo is solving for?  Is it productivity?  Is it morale?  Is it innovation?  Is it a lack of communication and collaboration?  Is it issues with speed and quality?  All of these are mentioned in the memo and in the ensuing debate.  And yet, few if any of these are resolved by enacting a dictum of “face time.”  Let’s take a moment to look at each issue separately.

Productivity  While the commentary on the announcement focused on “productivity,” the actual memo spoke of “speed and quality.”  Effectively these are the same.  Is the organization (and the individual employee) delivering what they said that they would deliver, when they said that they would deliver it?  As noted in many of the commentary on this decision, much of the research indicates that employees who are allowed flexibility in their work location are more productive.  Employee productivity is less a function of proximity than a function of setting clear expectations and managing to them.

Morale  Based on the comments from current and former employees, it appears that the morale issue centers around (a) individuals abusing the work-at-home policy and (b) lack of communication and guidelines regarding the enactment of the policy.  How does it help morale to issue a drastic, across the board edict that punishes those who are productive when working from home?

Innovation I firmly agree that innovation happens through collaboration.  I disagree that the only way innovation happens is when people physically see each other. The following is an excerpt from Regina Dugan’s TED Talk from March 2012.

“Last September, the gamers of Foldit solved the three-dimensional structure of the retroviral protease that contributes to AIDS in rhesus monkeys. Now understanding this structure is very important for developing treatments. For 15 years, it was unsolved in the scientific community. The gamers of Foldit solved it in 15 days. Now they were able to do so by working together. They were able to work together because they’re connected by the Internet. And others, also connected to the Internet, used it as an instrument of democracy. And together they changed the fate of their nation.”

I would think a company such as Yahoo would not only advocate for innovative on-line tools that allow for the type of collaboration described above, but also lead the way in creating them.

Communication and collaboration  This, to me, is the root of the issue; though not in the way intimated in the memo.  If Yahoo is looking to create a culture of communication, they missed the mark in the way they chose to deliver the message.  Why not bring the affected population together, explain the decision, and engage them in the plan and communication?

There is never only one answer to an issue.  Whether or not eliminating the work-from-home policy was the right decision for Yahoo will be determined in the months to come.  In the interim, it seems they’ve learned an important and very public lesson regarding the way that they chose to convey it.

My household has recently been adopted by a puppy. That’s right, my husband, son, and two dogs, have been joined by a puppy. This has gotten me to thinking about cultural norms and assimilation.

Over the past few weeks, the puppy has adapted to many of our families practices – learning to signal when he needs to go out to the dog run (and where it is located); and his “place” within the family structure. At the same time, we’ve had to adjust to his sleep patterns, his manner of play, and his personality.

When a new employee joins an organization a similar process is enacted. The employee spends a period of time working to understand the explicit and implicit norms. Explicit norms include the policies and procedures of the company. Implicit norms are those unspoken rules such as whether people eat meals at their desk, flexibility in conducting personal business at work, etc. Concurrently, the organization is reshaped through the integration of the new employee.

Each employee has the ability to impact this assimilation process. First, recall what it was like to be that new hire. What are those things you wish someone had told you? Take the time to explain processes and procedures as well as “the way we do things around here.” And, be prepared to pause in the question, “why?” that will inevitably follow. This new hire may just offer be an opportunity to fix a broken process or streamline a cumbersome practice.

Some of you may recall this song lyric. The song, originally sung by Diana Ross I believe, started with “Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you?” One of the consistent messages that we hear from the leaders who speak in the program is the importance of taking time to reflect.

Leaders recognize that it’s too easy to get caught in the undercurrent of daily life. Many of the leaders have shared stories of a time in their career where they realized that things were not going as they had planned. While the circumstances were unique, the recurring theme was, “I picked my head up, took a good look around, and thought, ‘Wow. How did I get to this place, and what do I do now?’” Through that experience, they each learned to create periodic check-in’s with themselves. The tactics that each leader employs differ – some journal, some schedule regular appointments onto their calendar, others take time away – but the purpose of the exercise is the same. By carving out time to reflect, a leader is able to re-center themselves in what’s most important to them, objectively assess what’s happening around them, and make grounded decisions that keep them moving in the direction of their vision.